i have a heart not a whole one just a piece of ovans and i do have light in me i just didn't know it until now. what is my light? its sayuri. how... her light is so powerful it awakens mine from its sleep. at least now it all makes sense, why every time the darkness took its hold one me sayuri could bring me back. why when i am with her i feel like nothing could go wrong why when im with her itts so hard to feel rage and hate. her light influences mine and keeps my darknessfrom getting the best of me. in port royal the darkness made me forget who she was because that was it's way of pushing my...

the darkness inside me scares me which is bad because darkness feeds off fear. it gets stronger and stronger every day and i could denie it but i know its true. it becomes harder to stay in control. i can't afford to lose control i mean i almost kill sayuri in port royal when i lost control there who's to say i wont next time. two thing i clear even if i don't want to i will end up losing control again no matter what and two if i don't gain control of the darkness within me soon i will perish. the darkness is supposed to be our power but i can't help but think that its not. i am strong and so is...

so i have learned two new thing one i scare sayuri she can denie it all she wants but there will always be a part of her that fears me aslong as i keep traveling the path i am currently on. and two good and evil don't exist without each other they are both in everyone you may be good in your mind and do all the things you think are right but when the time comes in someone else's eyes you might as well be the most evil person in the world. the organization takes advantage of this and pushes us to do what it needs but at what cost. form kingdom hearts thats the goal and what do we get when we achieve...

another day another mission. it doesn't seem to end. my powers have increase in strength i can control people for longer lengths of time but at what cost. my gloves keep me from hurting sayuri for now if what ovan said was true i will be able to control people with only just my words. my human feelings have gotten stronger i can't seem to stay in control for very long anymore. I lost my memory once i don't know if i'll get it back next time around. I'm starting to wonder if ovan is right in more than one way if I can control people with just words then what if he was right about me being the bad...

im not ok any more my feeling have gotten stronger but confused i don't know whats right anymore if right is was xemnas says it is then im not the bad guy but i feel like i am i hurt alot of people to do what is "right" but lately i feel like im hurting sayuri the most. Shes my best friend and i would do anything to keep her safe but sometimes i feel like she does't want my help i try to make her happy but i end up hurting her again. i forgot who she was that must have killed her on the inside. somethig in me says that im hurting her so i desided to leave her alone i understand if she never wants...

Ok so alot of wierd things keep happening to me and their not the good kind.New feelings have+opened+up+to+me+and+my+eyes+change+to+colors+that+they+have+never+change+to+before.Guess+the+longer+i+resist+on+going+back+to+worse+it+gets+but+lately+i've+been+feeling+like+theres+no+point+in+staying+i+just+hurt+sayuri+when+i'm+around+her+and+i+get+very+tiered+very+fast+i'm+probably+just+slowing+the+organization+down+i+guess+i+could+find+ovan+and+return+to+being+just+a+part+of+him+i+would+probably+be+doing+more+there+than+i+am+here+but+thats+for+xemnas+to+know+and+for+me+to+find+out.I+mean+at+least+if+it+doesnt+work+out+i+can+always+come+back+xemnas+wouldnt+dare+to+say...